Tag Archives: comedy

Comical haiku – City coffee shop

Suited up, snarling

Waiting as the fog rolls in

“Black cappuccino”


Comical haiku – Breakfast brawl

So what’s for breakfast?

“How about some exercise?”

How ’bout a black eye?



Comical haiku – I’m better than you

I sleep in the nude

“Oh yeah, I shop in the nude”

I bathe in my clothes


Comical haiku – A love story

I love making love

It’s such a beautiful thing

But just not with you



Comical haiku – Let them eat cake

How does that cake taste?

“Not bad, it’s a little tart”

You are what you eat


Comical haiku – Law-giver

Yes, I’m a lawyer

“Does that mean you help people”

Yes, for the right price


Haiku by (evil) Hitler

note: must be spoken in bad German accent.

Nine, it’s nine o’clock

Vhere are my lederhosen?

I’ll blow zem all up!


You know Tom Cruise has been in your house when…

  • All religious books have been assessed and corrected.
  • Any left-over placenta in the fridge has been eaten
  • You sofa has been jumped on (and probably broken) also tears of joy have stained your sofa pillows.
  • Your phone has been use to dial intergalactic numbers
  • Any one-piece silver suits have been worn (and probably soiled).
  • All Mathematical and Scientific books have been altered and corrected wherever necessary.
  • Your entire house has been Feng Shuied.
  • You find a few wedding ring cases as he has probably been married a few more times since visiting your place.
  • Every Sudoku puzzle has been done and don’t bother checking them because they are correct.
  • Every Tom Cruise DVD that you have has now been signed and the invoices are waiting there to be paid.
  • He has pre-adopted you a child that is currently in transit but will arrive shortly. You’re welcome.
  • Your house has been used to film ┬áhis latest “Save ┬áthe world” action movie.
  • Your goldfish has been mentally abused into believing that it doesn’t really need water.
  • Everything is positively charged.


Engines seize mid-air

Two days til retirement

That’s why I hate life