10 things real estate agents would never say and really mean

1. I personally wouldn’t go for this one

2. With your bad credit you’re essentially buying a coffin

3. I don’t own a house, owning is for suckers

4. We had the previous owners re-paint over all the blood stains

5. I’m actually a used car salesman moonlighting as a real estate agent

6. You might as well just give me the keys, I’ll kick you in the nuts and we’ll call it a day

7. You may pay me commission but I pay commission to Satan

8. Once this sale is over I’ll duplicate these keys and raid your fridge while you’re at work

9. It’s a nice neighbourhood if you’re into Satanic Ritual Sacrifice

10. It may be a crap house but hey you look like a crap person

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